


To the Stars

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: GrayLu [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Celestial Spirits - Freeform, Character Death, Established Relationship, F/M, Farewells, Grief/Mourning, Love, Sacrifice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-12 16:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17470853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: 'Part of him wished that this final moment could have just been the two of them, but he knew that she had needed this. That she had never truly belonged on this earth.'





	To the Stars

   Gray was quiet as he slipped into the infirmary, his eyes immediately going to the two beds on the left-hand side, a now familiar ache in his chest at the sight. No one had come through the recent war unscathed. They all bore physical wounds that would take weeks to heal even with the help of their healers because they were stretched too thin trying to help everyone. The physical injuries weren’t even the worst of it though, as the war had stirred up painful memories or left fresh ones, and everywhere he looked he could see new shadows in his friends’ eyes, and hear an edge to their voices, and he knew that he was the same. There were other losses too, more permanent ones. Makarov was gone, a loss they were still reeling from. Chelia had lost her magic, and he had lost the magic his father had given him. Oh, he was still an Ice mage, but his devil-slaying magic was completely gone, another trace of his past that had been stolen from him, although it was a sacrifice that he hadn’t hesitated to make.

    His gaze darkened as it drifted to the bed where Natsu lay, the ache in his chest intensifying as it was joined by a fresh surge of guilt. He was the reason why the Dragon-slayer was lying in that bed, barely an inch of his body uninjured and still unconscious a week after the battle. It had been fighting Natsu, or rather E.N.D. when it had been released that had eradicated his magic, and he couldn’t regret that, but it was his rival, or rather his best friend that had borne the damage from that fight, and even now Porlyusica couldn’t say if he would recover or not.

    However, with Natsu at least there was still some hope, no matter how bad the odds were at the moment. Bolstered by the fact that the stupid Flamebrain had always managed to overcome everything that had been thrown at him in the past and Gray believed he would again. _I have to believe that, because the alternative…_ He shook his head, unable to even let that thought take shape and instead he turned his attention to the other bed, and this time his heart really did break as his gaze settled on Lucy. She was asleep at the moment, her face finally free of the pain that haunted her during the day and looking at her now he could almost pretend that everything was okay, that she was just sleeping off an injury from a normal battle. That in a few days she would be down in the guildhall bolstering everyone’s spirits and reminding them of what it meant to be Fairy Tail, but that was not going to happen.

    It had been Lucy…not Natsu. Not Gray. Not Erza…but Lucy who had ultimately saved the day, who had saved Fiore, who had saved Fairy Tail. The battle had been coming to an end, Natsu had been forced back into his human form and was completely out of the fight, Gray and Erza had been on the point of collapse, barely able to summon even a spark of their magic. Zeref had been on the verge of death, his curse shattering with the destruction of E.N.D., but near death hadn’t been enough and he hadn’t been about to accept his defeat and as they had lain there unable to move to stop him he had prepared to wipe out Magnolia in one last act of defiance. Lucy had stopped him. She had been just as close to the edge of magical exhaustion as the rest of them, battered and bruised from the fighting and terrified for Natsu, but she had stood up, shielding the rest of them despite Gray’s frantic protests, and she had saved them all.

    She had opened an Eclipse gate to trap Zeref, and he had been so close to death at that point that he wouldn’t have a chance to escape the flow of time. However, without Yukino there to help and missing Aquarius’s key, she had been forced to offer herself…her magic…her life…to provide the necessary power. It had been enough, and he didn’t think he would ever be able to forget the sight of her, entire body aglow and all of her spirits around her. Her soft voice turning to a scream as she struggled to force the gate open, and then to hold it stable just long enough for him and Erza to summon the strength to move and force the Dark mage through just seconds before his spell would have been triggered. The scream trailing off to a whimper as she collapsed the moment he was through, the portal sealing itself and leaving them with the devastation that had been left behind.

   Lucy had saved the day, had saved countless lives, but not her own. Slowly, day by day she had been slipping away since then, spending more and more time asleep as her strength waned and while they had searched for a way to save her, they were running out of time. Gray had wanted to scream at her for being so reckless,  and for throwing everything away. After all, they had both promised the other that they would come out of this war, that they would have a future together, and yet she had thrown that all away.  Yet the words had never left his mouth, because how could he say those things? She had given them so much, and he had seen the happiness shimmering in her eyes when they had reassured her that it had worked, that she had saved everyone. But it hurt, it hurt more than he could bear, and what made it worse was how the rest of the guild was tiptoeing around him, eyeing him with pitying eyes and talking in quiet voices when they thought he wasn’t listening.

What were they trying to spare him from?

    He knew what was happening, he could see it every day as she grew weaker, her fingers gripping his less tightly than before. As she would trail off in the middle of conversations, and in the tears, she’d shed earlier when she’d realised that she wasn’t going to get a chance to say a proper farewell to Natsu. And when she had apologised in a broken whisper for not being able to keep her promise to him. _I’m losing her…_

   There was a lump in his throat as he made his way across to her bed, his breath hitching as he fought back a sob. _I’m losing her._ His hand was shaking wildly as he reached out to gently shake her shoulder, his other hand moving to play with her hair, remembering all the times she had scolded him for messing up her hair when they would curl up together on her sofa in the evenings. Slowly she stirred, eyes inching open even as she turned and nuzzled against the hand playing with her hair, a tiny smile creeping onto her face even before she was fully awake and peering up at him with a hint of confusion.

“Gray?”

“Hey,” His voice didn’t want to work, and he coughed to clear his voice. “I have something for you, will you come with me?”

“Now, but it’s…”

“I know,” he cut her off gently, well aware of how late it was, but he knew that this might be his only chance and he faltered for a moment. Porlyusica had sought him out a few hours before and warned him that Lucy was fading fast now and that it would be best for him to say his goodbyes before it was too late. _How can I say goodbye?_ He had wanted to scream that at the healer, at the world and even now he wasn’t ready. The words that needing to be said heavy in his chest, but he had needed to do something, and he had spent the afternoon frantically organising things, something to send her off properly and to show her just how much meant to him, to them…and how much she was leaving behind. “Humour me please?” He begged, forcing his voice to work once more, and there must’ve been something in his voice or expression because after a moment she had nodded in agreement.

    Gently he stripped the covers off her, and before she could protest, he had scooped her into a Princess carry. Usually, she would have immediately begun to wiggle to get free, scolding him for being an idiot, but tonight she just curled against him, resting her head against his shoulder with a weary sigh and he tensed at the change. _She’s slipping._ However, as he turned to move towards the door, she lifted her head for a moment, peering across at Natsu, tears brimming in her eyes.

“Goodbye Natsu…” The whispered word hung in the air, and Gray found himself fighting back tears of his own, his arms tightening around the Celestial Mage. _I can’t do this…_

    He lingered there for a moment, waiting to see if she wanted to say anything else to the Dragon-slayer, but she stayed silent her head falling back against his shoulder. Quietly he turned and resumed heading for the door, struggling not to imagine how Natsu was going to react to everything that had happened when…if he woke up. He pushed that thought aside, needing to focus on the woman in his arms, resting his head against hers and pressing a kiss to her temple.  

**

    Gray carried Lucy up to the hill outside of Magnolia, unsurprised that she had dozed off again during the walk, her breathing soft against the side of his neck. At the top, a tearful Yukino was waiting on them, and he saw her holding back a sob as she got a good look at Lucy and he tried to offer her a reassuring smile, well aware that it was little more than a grimace. Reaching her, he carefully settled on the ground, cradling Lucy in his lap and making sure she was as comfortable as he could make her.

“Lucy,” he murmured softly, shaking her gently and waiting patiently as she stirred with a sleepy protest, unable to stop the soft smile that slipped free as she wrinkled her nose and tried to burrow against him. It was something she had always done ever since they had started to share a bed, always reluctant to leave if he was still there. It had always been something that had surprised him, well aware that his magic meant that he was rather cool to the touch and he had never imagined someone wanting to cuddle against him, but Lucy had always been adamant that it was one of her favourite things. _I’m going to lose that…_ His smile dimmed, the approaching loss pressing on him once more, and his voice was choked as he shook her again. “It’s time to wake up sleepy head.”

    Grumbling softly, she obeyed, glancing up at him for a moment with sleepy eyes before twisting so that she could see where they were, and he felt her tense as she spotted the other Celestial mage.

“Yukino?” She asked softly, an undercurrent of pain to her voice. Two days ago she had asked to see the other Celestial mage, and with tears on her cheeks, she had entrusted Yukino with her keys, realising that she no longer even had the strength to summon them one last time. She had even begged Yukino to try and find Aquarius when things settled down so that all the Spirits could be together again, and unable to deny her anything Yukino had agreed. Lucy had wept for the rest of the day after that, her face buried against Gray who hadn’t had the words to say to ease that loss, and he had hated the fact that all he could do was hold her. He flinched slightly now as she turned to look at him, with an echo of that pain in her chest. “What’s going on?”

“Some others wanted to say goodbye,” His voice broke on the final word, a tear trickling down his cheek before he could stop it and he clung to her, even as he turned beseeching eyes towards Yukino whose eyes were swimming with tears as she watched the pair.

    Catching his glance, she straightened with a determined nod, reaching down with trembling fingers to grasp one of her new keys.

“G-Gate of the Lion I Open thee! Leo!” Her voice caught in her throat as Loke materialised in front of her, and she was unsurprised when this time he didn’t look at her, his gaze riveted on Lucy whose attention had shifted back to Yukino as soon as she realised what was happening, brown eyes shimmering with tears as she stared at her former spirt.

“Loke…”

“Lucy,” his voice was soft as he moved to her side, sharing a pained looked with Gray as he crouched down beside her, reaching out to gently take one of her hands. “Did you really think we would let you go without saying goodbye?”

“We?” Lucy glanced between them in confusion, well aware that Yukino wouldn’t be able to summon all of them at once and she blinked back tears at that thought. She hadn’t dared mention it to Gray, well aware that he was struggling enough with what was to come as it was, but she would have given anything to see the Spirits again. And she opened her mouth, intending to thank him for at least bringing Loke to her when the area around them was bathed in warm golden light, and her mouth snapped shut as she found herself surrounded.

    They were all there. Every single one of them, even Yukino’s spirits had appeared, and tears began to trickle down her cheeks as she gazed around at them, years of precious memories flashing through her mind, but when she caught sight of the familiar, beloved figure lurking at the back her breath caught in her throat. As though sensing her gaze Aquarius lifted her head, and the blonde was stunned to see the tears trickling down the Spirit’s cheeks, her grief plain for everyone to see and Lucy couldn’t speak as Aquarius moved through the group until she was beside Loke.

“Foolish child…”

“Yeah,” Lucy replied softly, a watery laugh slipping free as she rescued her hand from Loke so that she could reach out towards the Water Spirit, her breath hitching when Aquarius reached out to grab her hand in return. “I got to see you…one more time…everyone.” She loved them all so much, and he thought of leaving them behind broke her heart, but the thought of leaving them behind without being able to say goodbye had been even worse. She sniffled as she peered up at the Ice mage still holding her tightly, tears of his own trickling down his cheeks and she knew that he had realised she was close to the end now. “Thank you…”

“You’re welcome,” Gray could barely speak now, feeling how she was barely supporting any of her own weight now and he was fighting tooth and nail against the urge to break down completely. Part of him wished that this final moment could have just been the two of them, but he knew that she had needed this. That she had never truly belonged on this earth, and his hand trembled as he reached up to brush a lock of hair out of the way, before reaching in and pressing a trembling kiss to her lips, feeling just how much her breathing had slowed. It was a slow, lingering kiss as he tried one last time to show her just how he felt, and when he pulled back, he could see her eyes were beginning to drift shut even though she was fighting it, and he choked on a sob as he brushed his fingers across her cheek. “It’s okay, go to the stars…” 

   A tiny smile appeared on her face, fingers curling in the front of his shirt as she turned her gaze to the gathered spirits one last time before her eyes closed completely. For a moment there was nothing but silence as they listened to her soft breathing fading away, and when it finally faded away the Spirits disappeared too, bathing the entire area in dancing golden sparks even as Gray let out a broken sob, cradling the Celestial mage close.

_I love you…_

 


End file.
